Super Full Moon photos

Moon Watching with Your True Love

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So how many of you stepped outside at sunset or sunrise to view the super moon last Sunday?  The “super moon” is a phenomena where the full moon is closest to the earth in it’s elliptical cycle, which only happens once or twice every hundred years. It’s not that big a deal – it’s not a comet or meteor shower or asteroid attacking the planet, but it’s rather pretty and romantic. If you missed it, make sure you schedule December 14th for your moon-watching-with-honey date. It may not be quite as large, but it should still be well worth viewing.

Make it a date

Plan where would be the best place to watch the moon. Plan two locations – one for nice weather, and an alternate for rain or snow. I have a second-floor porch with a porch swing. I’ll make sure to shovel it out next month, and have a thermos of hot toddies and a quilt to snuggle under.

Making Memories

Take a few photos of the moon to put in your scrapbook. Make sure to get a selfie of you and your honey with the beautiful moon in the backdrop. It’s best to view the moon either shortly after dusk or right before dawn, when it’s close to the horizon. If you wish, share your moon pictures here!

Cute Nicknames and Endearing Words

How many of you have a favorite nickname? Or do you have a special name for your beloved?

Once upon a time this was far more common than it is today. I remember reading all the Little House on the Prairie books as a child, and I thought it was so strange that Almanzo called Laura “Beth.” How do you get “Beth” from Laura? The names have nothing in common. At least the name she gave him, “Manly” was kind of cute. It was certainly a better name than Almanzo. I’ve never heard of anyone else given that name, have you?

My mom had red hair. My dad had been blond as a boy, but his hair had darkened and then turned silvery. He used to call Mom “Big Red” at times, when he was on vacation and relaxing. He was a very prim and proper gentleman. He did not believe in holding hands in public. He would only call her by her given name in public, not even “Dear” or “darling.” But every vacation, she became “Big Red.”

There was a children’s book about a dog by that title, and some years later, we kids nicknamed Dad “Ol’ Yeller.” He thought it was on account of his blonde hair… but really, it was for another reason entirely! Mom never called him Ol’ Yeller, although she would use words like “dear” freely.

I rarely use a shortened form of my husband’s name. It is a short name anyway, and doesn’t need to be shortened. But others will use the nickname. I just feel that his real name is handsome, respectful, and I love it. I do have a nickname for something else, though…

I like to send him emails at work. He cautioned me about getting too personal, because work emails could be read by his superiors. I then came up with the idea of a secret code word. I say “Chicken Salad” instead of sex. He laughed. He doesn’t particularly like chicken, but if he has to eat it, he does like my chicken salad.

So now I can email him things like, “Dear, would you like to have some chicken salad tonight? I would just love a great, big hard dish of chicken salad. I’ll light the candles, you can bring the chocolate oil.”

Maybe it will drive his boss nuts wondering why we would want to put chocolate oil on a perfectly good chicken salad? Hm… did you even know that they made oil in chocolate? (You can order it from most adult toy stores.)

Some guys will have a nickname for their penis. I’ve heard it called “Willie,” “Peter,” and “George.” We’ve never nicknamed my honey’s… yet. Maybe that’s next?

Which Blurb Should I Use?

fortlaramie_200x300He’s ready for marriage.

She’s not.

If she walks away from Mr. Right now, will she lose him forever?

That’s the headline for my new book that comes out in two days! What do you think so far? Is it something that might catch your interest? Maybe make you read more or walk away?

Then I wrote two very different blurbs for it, and I’m trying to decide which one to use. So I thought I’d ask for your input! Please leave a comment below whether you like the first one (shorter, funky) or the second one (longer, more traditional) better. Thank you very much!

Fort Laramie by Courage Knight

 

First Blurb:

Rules I wish I’d followed, by Carrie Carson:

  1. Don’t lie on your application, claiming to know things you don’t.
  2. Don’t sign up for a summer internship if the really cute hot grad student in charge wants to date you, unless you’re ready for it.
  3. Don’t ignore your boss’s orders, even if it is hot and the river looks so inviting!
  4. Don’t get even with said boss by letting the air out of the tires of his best friend’s van.
  5. Before falling for the really cute hot grad student, always ask if he’s into anything kinky – like spanking his girlfriend whenever he thinks she deserves it.
  6. Don’t tell lies – not even small white lies – to boyfriends who spank.

 

Second Blurb:

Tom McKay, a graduate student at U. W. – Madison, is in charge of setting up a living history project at the historic Fort Laramie. With grant money, he will erect an educational center, and outfit twelve undergrads to re-enact life at the fort in the mid 1880s. Hopefully, Carrie Carson will be one of the students. He’s been interested in her for over a year, but she won’t give him the time of day. If she joins this project, she’ll play the part of his wife for the summer – in name, only – but away from college, television, homework and other distractions, maybe she would get to know him… and maybe even like him. At the very least, he’ll be able to keep an eye on her. She’s far too reckless for her own good!

Carrie is a history major, and from the first moment she heard about the history project at Fort Laramie, she just knew she had to be a part of it! Even learning that Tom McKay is in charge isn’t enough to keep her away. There’s not anything wrong with Tom… he is a nice guy and really cute – but he is ready for marriage, and she isn’t. She wants to travel, learn things, sow some wild oats. The last thing she needs is a marriage license to hold her back.

So what if Tom is in charge? That doesn’t mean he can order her around all the time! If he tells her not to swim in the river, then that’s exactly what she’s going to do! She is twenty years old, after all, she is not a child!

Later that night, after a trip to the emergency room, Tom shows her exactly what happens to naughty “wives” in the 1880s. He gives her a choice. She can pack up her bags and go home – missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime, or she can accept a spanking at the hand of her make-believe husband, and not just for this one lapse in judgment, but for the rest of the summer.

Will she stay? And if he follows through on his threat to put her over his knee, how will that affect their relationship?

Ten Ways to Improve Your Marriage Today

1.Welcome Him Home.

When was the last time you were really excited to see your partner? If you own a dog, or if you’ve ever seen someone come home who owns a dog, you’ll know the dog gets really, really excited. It announces the master’s arrival with gleeful barking, often jumping up on the master to lick his face, prancing around his legs practically knocking him down with its excitement. Do you love your partner at least as much as the dog?

Humans aren’t usually as open about their emotions, but why not? Maybe you don’t want to lick his face, but what about his ear? Instead of barking like crazy, what about a gleeful shout, “You’re home!” – like you really are excited to see him? Throw yourself at him, hug him, ask him about his day. Put down what you are doing and spend at least a few minutes reassuring him of your love.

2. Listen to Him.

Do you ask him about his day? If he opens his mouth, are you listening to him, or do you immediately launch into a long recitation of your day? Take a few minutes just to  listen to him. Women often complain that their partner doesn’t talk to them, but sometimes they have trained their partner that trying to talk is  a waste of time. Learn how to listen. Pay attention. Look at him. Look at his face, his eyes especially. Read his body language. Don’t give advice, just listen. He’s a grown up and can solve his own problems. Just be his cheerleading section. Telling him how to do something, or how to react to a situation emasculates him.

3. Spend Time with Him.

After listening to his day, what do you do? Do you run off to check your emails? Play games on your phone? When was the last time you spent doing something with him? If you ever watched a 1950’s sitcom, the housewife often greeted her husband at the door with a martini. She’d be wearing a dress, with her hair and make-up just perfect, thanks to the stage crew in the wings, and a big smile. The martini might not be a great idea as a daily habit, but maybe he’d like a glass of ice tea with lemon. Ask him. Then find something to do together. Maybe you could help him make dinner. Or maybe serve a light snack for now – cheese and crackers, or raw veggies with dip – and play a card game. A half an hour isn’t much compared to the twenty-four hours we’re given each day, but it can really make or break a marriage.

4. Think Before You Speak.

Words are powerful. With words we vow to love, honor and cherish. Words can change the world. Words can be immortal. Your words, for better or worse, will be remembered by those who love you. Be sure that your words are worth remembering! There are two parts to communicating. What you say, and what he hears. Sometimes, the two don’t really match. If you tell him to tuck in his shirt, he hears you criticizing him. If you tell him how he should respond to someone at work, he hears you saying that you don’t think he can handle the situation on his own. The next time you open your mouth, take a few seconds to think about what you want him to hear. Will it be words of love and encouragement? Or will it tear him down and belittle him?

5. Eat Together.

When my children were at home, we ate all our suppers together, every day. I didn’t realize that wasn’t even the norm, until I heard some one on the radio encouraging families to eat at least one meal a week as a family. Once a week? My gosh – what happened to the other six dinners, seven lunches and seven breakfasts? We have to eat – we ought to eat with our loved ones. Eat as many meals a week as you can with him. Does he leave for work before you? Then set your alarm to get up earlier to eat with him. You can either go back to bed after he leaves, or get started on your house work, check emails, etc. Does he get home very late sometimes? Can you have a light salad when you get hungry, and have the main meal with him when he arrives? Then eat together – at a table – not in front of the television. Real communication can’t be squished between commercial breaks.

6. Sleep Together.

This should go without saying! But you’d be surprised how many times I hear couples complain about their relationship, and then mention that they don’t share a bed anymore. Well, duh! Of course your relationship is going to suffer. In the marriage ceremony, the “two shall become one.” How can you be “one” if you maintain separate beds, or separate bedtimes in the same bed? I’m not talking about sexual intimacy – just physically going into the same bed at roughly the same time every night. Maybe you’re a night owl, and he’s an early  bird. So go to bed with him. Talk with him. Read a book for a while. If you still can’t get to sleep, then get back up for a few hours. But make bedtime a “you and me” tradition.

6. Notice His Efforts and Thank Him.

All of us like to do the things we are good at. We avoid the things we aren’t good at. So if your husband does the dishes one night, praise him. Don’t tell him all the things he did wrong. Don’t go in and rearrange the dishes in the dishwasher – you’re sending him the message that he didn’t do it right, so next time he won’t even bother to try. Instead, when he does something you’d like him to repeat – praise him. Don’t lie… but be careful about what messages you send him. “Darling, thank you so much for helping! I really appreciate it” can be words of truth, even if he did a lousy job. You are appreciating his effort, and he will be more likely to do it again.

But don’t just thank him for doing things for you or around the house. Thank him for the things he does for the family. Does he have a job? He gets up every morning, prepares for work and goes there, spending the majority of his adult life doing it. Thank him. Thank him for being such a good provider. You’ll build him up, and a happy husband can be a wonderful lover.

7. Praise Him in front of Your Friends.

When asked about her husband, I once heard a woman say, “Oh, he’s short, fat and bald.” I knew then that they’d be divorced soon. She no longer valued him, but humiliated him, even though he wasn’t there to hear it. Unkind words have a way of coming back to haunt us. If you praise your husband in the privacy of your home, he’ll feel good. But if you praise him in front of your friends, in front of his friends, you make him feel fantastic. Those words carry a lot more weight! You aren’t just praising him for whatever it is that he does well, but you are building up your relationship, your marriage, and telling all your friends that you love him, value him, respect him. That is the key to a happy, successful marriage. Conversely, never ever criticize him in front of his friends. Never ever criticize him if you want a good relationship.

8. Show Him that You Love Him Every Day.

What did you do to show your love for him today? What did you do yesterday? It isn’t the anniversary dinners or second-honeymoon sex that builds strong marriages. It’s the common little acts throughout the days. Did you hold his hand when you went for a walk? What about rubbing his tired feet after a long, busy day? Can you pick up his favorite flavor of ice cream for dinner tonight? How many little things can you do to show your love for him? Create a list and continue to add to it. Then make sure to do at least one thing every day. He might pick up on this without you even saying a word… and maybe he’ll start to return the favor.

9. Make it Clear to Him that He Makes You Happy.

Actually, it isn’t his job to make you happy. He vowed to love, honor and cherish, not to amuse, spoil and entertain you. But if you are happy in your relationship, make sure he knows it! And make sure he is happy, as well. Be alert to his wants, needs and desires. This relates back to communication. Don’t just assume that because you two don’t argue, everything is fine. Make sure that you tell him everything is fine with you. And ask him if everything is fine with him – and not just once, but regularly. This way you can deal with little problems before they become insurmountable mountains.

10. Show Him that You Desire Him Still.

I went to a wedding a few years ago. The young couple had chartered a boat, hosting a dinner cruise for their ceremony. It was festive, lovely, intimate. It was a unique experience, and I believed the couple had a good future ahead.  Imagine my surprise that nine months later they had amicably separated! I don’t understand the “amicable” part at all. If they were still on speaking terms, then any marital problem should have been fixable! “He just doesn’t satisfy me any more,” was the bride’s response.

Well, there is a certain amount of “sameness” that can come with years of sharing the same bed with the same partner. This can lead to boredom if you let it, but it also can build security. You do  know what to expect, and what is expected of you. You don’t have to worry about it, like you probably did when you were dating.

If your sex life is starting to feel like tv reruns, then maybe it’s time to mix things up. Not too much all at once, unless you talk with your partner about it first. You want him onboard with you, not feeling insecure. Try a new negligee. Light candles. If you always do it in the bedroom, make sure your bedroom is clean and inviting. If you can, try another room in the house. Try the backyard. There are many things you can do to add interest, to keep your sexual relationship alive and healthy.

The important thing to remember, though, is to make sure that your husband knows you desire HIM. He is your one and only.

Try any or all of these ten simple steps, and see how much better your relationship becomes! Then share the results here.

 

 

He’s Just Selfish!

Dear Courage,

I’m angry, and then I feel guilty about it, but my guy doesn’t satisfy me at all anymore. We’ve been together for four years. We’ve been through a lot together – my family doesn’t like him. We’ve had to move several times, he lost his job – he’s working now, though. We even lost a baby six months ago. But we’re still together. I’d like to think that our relationship is meant to be, that we got what it takes to make it last… except in the bedroom. We don’t have it often, but when we do, he climaxes within minutes and then he’s ready to sleep. He doesn’t help me to climax, nor does he seem to care. When I try to talk to him about it, he gets angry. What should I do? I wish I could just learn to accept things the way they are, but darn it all – I have needs!

Frustrated and Guilty.

Dear Frustrated,

You do have needs, and you shouldn’t have to just accept the status quo. However, it sounds to me like your partner could be grieving and may need counseling to help him move on.

Most men do not understand their emotions, and they react to whatever they don’t understand with anger. So if a man is scared, he gets angry. If he is sad, he acts angry. If he is hurt, he acts angry. Get the picture? Just because your man gets angry with you does not mean that he is really angry. It just means that he has some emotion that he doesn’t understand and can’t deal with. It is your job to help him discover what it is he’s feeling and then help him to deal with it.

Was he happy when you told him you were expecting? Or was the baby an unplanned pregnancy? Either way, he would experience grief when the baby didn’t make it. You did, too – how are you holding out? Have you given yourself time to grieve? You might get him to go to counseling if you tell him that you need to go and need his support.

I bet that once he’s talked about whatever it is that’s bothering him, you’ll find that things in the bedroom are much, much better.

Other things you can try would be: watch an erotic movie together. Go away for a romantic weekend. Be more affectionate throughout the day where things do not end up with heavy sex, just get him primed for it. And lastly, find a sex therapist if nothing else works.

New Book Release Soon

Hi there, fans and fellow writers! I have great news to share! I have a new book coming out very soon! It is titled Fort Laramie, and is a contemporary romance, new adult novel. I should have a cover to share with you very soon.

In this story, the hero is a graduate student working towards his doctorate in Public History. He wrote a grant, and is planning to develop a living history program at historic Fort Laramie, hiring undergrads to fill the various positions. He will assume the role of Lieutenant Colonel William Burt, who had commanded the fort in the late 1880s.

The heroine, an undergrad, had a huge crush on Tom McKay, but she turned him down every time he asked her out. The reason she gave her girlfriend is that he was “too nice.” He was marriage material, and she wasn’t ready for marriage! She wanted to have fun, flirt, date, dance and party – and not settle down with “the one” to a lifetime of dishes and making babies. But how long will that last, when she discovers that she is to play the part of his wife for the summer? And when a careless, reckless decision on her part puts his entire program at risk, will he send her on the first plane back home? Or do as the original Colonel Burt might have done, and put her over his knee?

My book is scheduled to be released on Thursday, September 29th. Stay tuned for more information!

Is He Just Lazy?

Dear Courage,

My BF works at a 40 hour a week job. He’s an assistant manager for a restaurant. I know that  can be demanding, and you run around all day. My problem though, is that is all he does. He works. When he comes home, he sleeps. He doesn’t help around the house. He doesn’t spend much time with me or the kids, because all he does is sleep. He gets home between midnight and 2 a.m. every night. Then he sleeps until noon most days, but sometimes until 3 or 4 pm.

I wish I could get that kind of sleep! I go to bed around midnight, so I can at least see him before I go to sleep, but I have to be awake by 7:30 with the children. I don’t ever get a break.

So am I wrong to think that my BF should spend more time awake? Or is it enough that he works hard and is a good provider? I feel so lonely, and sometimes resentful. Or is it me that needs to change?

Confused.

Dear Confused,

No healthy adult needs to get ten hours of sleep on a regular basis. That’s just nuts! First, you need to encourage your BF to see his doctor to rule out any health issues. If his physical health is normal, then suspect emotional health. It is not uncommon for someone who is depressed to sleep a lot.

If he is depressed, then counseling and medication can help. Nagging won’t help. But you can talk to him and let him know how you feel, as long as you remember to use “I” statements and not “You” statements. You can say how you feel, and ask him for suggestions on how the two of you can work things out. For example:

“Darling, I feel lonely. I don’t get to see you much, between the long hours you work and sleep. How can we adjust our schedules so we spend more time together?”

In the example I presented, you have not accused your BF of anything. You haven’t blamed him which would only put him on the defensive. Instead, you’ve simply stated a problem and asked for his input on how to solve it.

You have to then be prepared for creative solutions. While you want him to sleep less – so he could spend time with you, he might just come up with an alternative solution. Maybe he’ll set aside one afternoon a week for a date night. Or maybe he’ll cut back on hours at work. Or maybe he’ll suggest that you need a hobby or a girlfriend, so you aren’t so lonely. Whatever he comes up with, it’s a step. This type of communication takes time to develop, but the results can be fantastic!

The real reason for his sleeping so much may take time to uncover. If he is depressed, it could be something at work or about his job. It’s possible he may need to find a new career. However, before you start clipping the want ads, make sure that he sees his doctor.

 

They Aren’t Curtains!

Dear Courage,

When my partner goes down on me, he pulls my labia apart like their friggin’ drapes! It hurts! I’ve told him to be gentle, but he just doesn’t get it. Why does he do that and how can I get him to stop? I don’t even want him pleasuring me that way any more.

Bruised in the Bedroom

Dear Bruised,

I’m so sorry for your discomfort! You and your partner are experiencing a very common issue in any relationship – a lack of communication. You’ve tried telling him, but he somehow isn’t listening. He’s giving you something he thinks you enjoy, but you aren’t able to enjoy it. That is a communication problem.

First off, my guess is that he’s holding them open to have better access to your clit. As you become aroused, the tissues there thicken and swell, making your clit more accessible. It’s possible that he’s getting there too early. Maybe if he spent more time in foreplay, you’d be ready for him.

It’s also possible he’s just trying to get any hair out of the way. Do you shave there? It can be a bit tricky, but it’s worth the effort. If you can’t quite reach it (we all come in different shapes and sizes) then this might be an activity your partner would be willing to do for you periodically.

The next time this situation arises, try holding him back. Try suggesting that you aren’t quite ready for that yet, but want more petting and snuggling first. You could flip him on his back, hold him down, and keep him there until you’re ready.

Another option would be to offer to hold yourself open for him. You could “open the drapes” in a way that wasn’t painful.

I hope this helps you to open a dialog with him that will be mutually beneficial, helping to build greater intimacy.

 

Anniversary Ideas?

Dear Courage,

Our anniversary is coming up, but I have no idea what we can do! We don’t have time for a romantic get-away. We are in the middle of selling the home we’re in, and buying a new home in just three weeks! I don’t want to buy him a gift that he doesn’t need, that will basically just be one more thing to pack. We could do the dinner-and-a-movie deal, but that’s what we always do. Can you come up with something sweet and romantic, that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg, and clutter up the house?

Harried

Dear Harried,

I’ve been there and I’ve done that! My Dh and I have moved many times in our marriage, and I know what you mean about any gift just being one more thing to pack.

Sometimes you can focus on giving a gift that isn’t an object, but an experience. What are his interests? If he’s in to cars, maybe you could buy tickets to a car museum. Our town has a great airplane museum. Some towns have afternoon boat tours that are only an hour or two, and offer drinks and light refreshments on board. Look into what’s available in your area, and see if there isn’t something that you both might enjoy.

As a variation on the Dinner-and-a-movie theme, why don’t you send the kids out? Make that dinner at home, and watch a movie in your own living room. Turn out all the lights and light up a bunch of candles. Spread blankets and pillows on the floor. If things get very intimate, you can pause the movie to finish watching later! And for that movie… maybe you’d like to get something a bit naughty from an online adult toy store?

If your house is really crazy with packing, maybe a night away from the mess would hit the spot? Can you get someone to stay with the kids, and book a motel for a day or two? Get yourself a lovely new swimming suit or negligee, a bottle of champagne for the room, and let your imagination soar.

The best gift you can give your husband is your undivided attention. That’s more precious than silver or gold.

Hope you have a fantastic anniversary, whatever you decide to do!

 

 

Inexperienced, Looking for Help

Dear Courage,

My Dh and I have been married for three years, and we have two little ones – so we know how to do it. But just the basics. We were both raised in a less-open environment. We are rather naive and inexperienced by today’s standards, not that I’m complaining, because I’m not! But I’d like to try something new. Not because I feel like we have to spice things up, but just to show him how much he means to me.

My problem is that I’m too embarrassed to go to an adult store, and there isn’t one in my area anyway. I don’t know what I want. I don’t even know what I’m asking. Can you help?

Inexperienced.

Dear Inexperienced,

Sounds like you are on the right road. You have a good relationship with your partner, and are comfortable enough that you want to experiment a bit, but not frustrated. Fantastic!

Communication is really important, though. For the naive and embarrassed, this can be challenging. If you can’t actually say words like “pussy” or “sex” then you and your Dh can rename them with cute little words that you are more comfortable saying. For instance, my husband and I call sex “chicken salad.” It’s just a cute little private thing we do, not because we are sexually inhibited, but so we can talk about it in front of the kids. I’ll send him little emails at work, like, “Gee, darling, I’m really in the mood for some chicken salad tonight.” He gets the message, but isn’t going to get fired! Naming these things can be a fun activity. There are tons of nicknames for a man’s penis: Dick, Peter, weenie, dingdong, and more. You can use one of those, but it’s much more interesting to come up with your own. (Have you ever watched the chick-flick, How to Loose a Man in 10 Days? She names his penis something really silly, although I don’t remember what.)

Next, find a way to learn that you are more comfortable with. For some people, buying a video works. It is hard to find good videos, because many of them are created for entertainment only, and can be quite offensive to someone who is more naive. However, the sex videos made by Candida Royale have earned awards and are even used in some schools’ sex education programs. They are still considered “women’s porn” though, so you may find them a bit too much – especially at first.

Some people are more comfortable with books, and there is nothing better than “The Joy of Sex” by Alex Comfort. It was originally written in 1970, but recently updated for the 21st century. It is your encyclopedia of sex, complete with pictures and diagrams. Any question you could come up with is probably answered within the covers of this tastefully done classic.

Another little “classic” that I keep on my bookshelf is “Tickle His Pickle” by Sadie Allison. This was just adorable – with cute little cartoons, and it made me laugh! Unfortunately, I just discovered that this book is out of print. It’s still available second-hand – but I hope the author will upload it to Kindle and make it available to another generation of readers.

You can explore adult stores online in the privacy of your home. When these stores mail packages to you, the items are always well-concealed. They are wrapped in brown cardboard, and the company name is not advertised on the box, so your neighbors and children won’t know what you’ve bought.

Congratulations on wanting to spread your wings! I trust you and your Dh will have years of satisfying encounters ahead.

Courage.