Porn Freak?

Is it wrong that I’d rather watch porn and fantasize, or play with my toys, than have sex with my boyfriend? We went over two months without having sex, and then when we did, it just felt weird. What’s wrong with me?

Worried

Happy, satisfied coupleDear Worried,

It is not bad yet, that you are enjoying this time of self-discovery. Erotic movies, thoughts and fantasies are a great way to learn what you like, what you don’t like, and what you’d like to explore more in-depth. However, these are just tools to achieve the final goal – a happy, healthy relationship with another person – your boyfriend. When the toys and fantasies replace flesh and blood, then one day you could find yourself all alone and unfulfilled.

It sounds like you need to talk about this with your boyfriend. You don’t need to tell him that sex with him felt weird. Instead, try watching an erotic movie with him! Have your toys available. Maybe put on one of your favorite movies, and tell him what you like about it. Encourage him to hold your toys. Return the favor. Talk about your fantasies with him.

You’ll have to be sensitive to his moods, as well. You want him to open up and try something new. You don’t want him to shut down. Be sure that you let him know he’s not a failure in the bedroom. Instead, praise him, how much you trust him, that you would share your deepest, innermost thoughts with him. Let him know that this is a reward, that you are exploring your sexuality with him, and not because you feel unfulfilled.

And if you find a favorite toy, post it in the comments below! Inquiring women want to know!

 

Photo Credits: freedigitalphotos.net

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