If you love reading romance novels, then this should be an easy question for you! But I’ve been feeling a little down lately, feeling like the books I’ve read haven’t been very romantic. There is plenty of sex and kissing and action, but it’s just stuff. It isn’t building a close, intimate relationship. And then I was really bummed, worrying if people no longer really know what romance means, because they’ve never experienced it. Please tell me that isn’t true!
Romance is Excitement and Mystery in an Intimate Relationship
I looked up several definitions of romance, as I tried to verbalize what is in my heart. This is the one I like best. Excitement and mystery! Romance isn’t about sex… sex might be what happens as a result of romance, but sex itself is just an act. Romance is excitement and mystery! You can have a romantic dinner, if you’re excited about it. If you’re a bit mysterious, or if your partner maintains a bit of mystery. Maybe he tells you to dress up, but won’t tell you where he’s taking you. Maybe you tell him you have a secret to share, but he’s going to have to wait until dessert to find out. Then at dessert, you tell him something off the wall, like you aren’t wearing any panties under your dress, or you have some edible panties for him to sample. You’ve kept him excited all through the meal while he pondered what the secret is, and you can bet he’s going to be excited all through dessert, too!
It takes planning and imagination to keep the romance alive. To plan a mysterious dinner date, you have to make reservations and keep him from figuring it out. If you put it on your shared debit card, he’ll know as soon as he checks the account online. So you’d have to pay cash, or open a private paypal account… plan ahead!
Being Excited Even After Twenty, Thirty or Forty Years
There’s an old expression that familiarity breeds contempt. The same-old, same-old can bore you to tears, if you let it! You’ve looked at that same face for years! You wake up to it every morning, you kiss it (hopefully!) every night. You smell his morning breath and listen to him snore half the night. How romantic is that?
It’s all in how you look at it. When you gaze into your husband’s eyes, do you remind yourself how fortunate you are to have such a wonderful man in your life? Or are you thinking about what you’re going to fix for dinner and what you’ll have to pull out of the freezer to serve with it? Never take your partner for granted! You don’t know what the future will bring. This might be the last day you will have together! You should live every day like it is your last, but look forward to an eternity of tomorrows.
I’m going to post a series of articles on putting romance back into our relationships! If you have ideas, suggestions, and thoughts to share, please post them in the comments section. I look forward to hearing from you.
Top photo by David Castillo Dominici
Lower photo by Ambro